Moving forward

Stress/Mild Depression/Emotional Upset………… however you see it, it is a real thing.  Unfortunately, most people (me included) don’t know anything about it and think people who say they have it should “Cheer up” or “get on with it”.

That is until it happens to you!

It comes out of the blue, when you’re not expecting it and it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Mine started in early 2017.

I’m not going to go into the reason why or what triggered it let’s just say that when you feel sick everyday at the thought of going to work or you burst into tears at the drop of a hat, spend hours sitting on the sofa watching trash on the TV, aren’t bothered if you wash your hair or not, have the same thoughts going through your head over and over or feel that you don’t want to talk to anyone at all but have to put on a “brave face” just to get through the day …………………….. that’s when you need help (if not sooner).

When you find yourself on your 51st birthday crying all over the lovely Dr (who is not much older than your own child) it’s time to make some changes.

So what to do?
I got the Dr to sign me off sick for two weeks at a time (something I’d never done in 34 years of working).

I went for walks, to the cinema, cleaned the house from top to bottom tried reading, stopped blogging and did anything that wasn’t stressful.

I talked to friends who had also suffered from the same thing themselves and realised I wasn’t alone.

I also started job hunting again.  When your boss tells you to “stop being so caring” it’s time to move out of the care sector.

I started to look forward to Christmas and I finally got around to sorting out a craft space for myself.  Somewhere I can go to de-stress if it all gets too much again.

After three months off sick I have started a new job (in a school this time) and now work with some really lovely, caring people.

I won’t ever apologise for feeling like this as it’s part of who I am but I will be more understanding of others and not be too quick to judge.  You never know what is going on behind someone’s smile.

I am moving forward and hope that 2018 will be a better year than the last two.