18 March 2021

A Quick Question (or two)

Why do some people think it's wrong that your 24 year old is still living at home?    I have plenty of friends whose kids still live with them.  Do they get asked the same questions?                                    

Why do some people think it's OK to comment "Oh!  He's still at home"? "Didn't he go to University"?  Yes he is and No, not everyone wants to go to Uni.

Why in these uncertain times would we "kick him out"?

Here's the lay of the land.

He's saving like mad to buy his own place as he doesn't want to rent.  How is he supposed to do that when house prices are so high and you need a 10% deposit as a first time buyer?  

He has a good job but doesn't want to stay in this area.  He started looking for another position but then we had a global pandemic so was happy to stay put for now.

We hardly see him,  He has a great social life and circle of friends both here, in Scotland and in the USA. (Although we've seen a bit more of him since lockdown started!!)

He's a great housesitter when we go away for the weekend.  Not that we've done much of that recently.

He pays his way.

Why then, is it "Wrong" for him to still be at home?  

How old were your kids when they left home? (not counting those in the USA that go to college straight after High School).


6 comments:

  1. Our daughter was a bit of a 'boomerang'! Came home after university for a year or so, then moved into a rented flat with a boyfriend, relationship broke up after about 18 months so moved back for a year, then moved out again when she met her future husband and they bought a house together. Our son went to uni, came home for a couple of years as he did a year working in London and then a year doing his Masters at a London university. So I guess he was about 24 when he moved out. Then he moved up to Edinburgh where his girlfriend was doing her Masters and he hasn't moved back home since! They rented a flat in London for a couple of years after she finished her degree and then bought a house in Essex.
    I don't think he's unusual for 'still' being at home at 24, the important thing is that your son has a plan and it seems like his ambition is to get his career sorted, then buy something so it's by far the most sensible thing to live at home while saving and waiting for his job plans to fall into place. Renting is so expensive, much better to put that money into savings. It's even more sensible when he wants to move out of the area and hasn't yet found the place that he wants to put down roots.
    We have friends whose son is 31 and still at home, but the big difference is that he is quite a loner, and has absolutely no plans to move out and I fear that he is too comfortable and settled that he does not have any ambition to be independent.
    So ignore the people who have an opinion on whether or not your son is living at home. He's doing what needs to be done in order to sort out the next part of his life. He has a plan, and it's a good one - find a job, find an area you want to live in THEN move out!

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    1. Thank you for this. Sometimes you just need a little bit of support from others to help you realise that we are not all the same. It's OK to be different. And as you say he's doing what's best for him until he has all his plans in place. :0)

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  2. People need to mind their own business! If you are all happy with the arrangement, that's all that matters. Maybe to shut those people up, just reverse the story - "oh we live with him" (lol).

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  3. Thank you. I like your idea a lot and think I might use it next time anyone passes an unwanted comment. :0)

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  4. Sam came home for a year after his degree to work and save so he could go back and do his masters. Once he is qualified he want to travel so cannot see him coming back. Callum is 21 this year - still at home. Has currently put his course at college on hold as he wasn't coping well with the studying from home thing. whether he goes back is another question. His girlfriend is training to be a nurse so I think when she qualifies he might be off to be with her. They are all different and find their own way in the world. Doesn't stop you from worrying though.

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    1. Hi Jo. Glad to hear your boys are doing OK. Things here will sort themselves out once we can get back to some kind of normal.

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